Apple

I don’t really have anything against the Apple Corporation personally. I haven’t used an Apple computer since forth grade library, but I do have an iPod and an iPhone and they are both outstanding tools.

But…

…where in the fuck did they get the idea to call their tech support people “Geniuses”? Really? Genius?

So after going to the ATT store where I bought the phone and being told I have to make an appointment for the next day at the Apple store which is 45 minutes away, then I hit traffic and it took me over an hour to get there so I missed my 1:10 appointment by ten minutes causing the tech support punk to say “Well, I hope the next people are late cause you’re cutting into their time.”

I said, “Listen genius…”

And what was their genius level fix? Completely reset the phone so I get to spend three hours this afternoon reloading apps, pics and music back on my phone.

Thanks Genius

Best Pants Shitting Story...Ever

Thanks Tasty Booze

Bob got a Fancy New Computer

Eleven More Days…

…’til Slayer comes to town. Somebody’s gettin’ fucked up.

Let’s Focus on the Big Picture People…

…or rather the exact opposite. Remember what’s important.

Happiness
Sanity
Family
Health
Love
Music
…and Beer.

“How quickly I forget that this is meaningless.”

Hmmmm…Interesting

I think Ol’ Doug Donaldson over at American Power is trying to pick a fight with me.

This is the second time he’s linked me in an effort to make himself look better, by making me out to be some kind of a scumbag.

Guess what Doug? My regular readers already know I’m a scumbag. That’s why they come back.

Rule 5

This week’s rule 5 is dedicated to the biggest tits in Hollywood:

Thanks Man-o-fest.

…hmmm…no I really don’t think there’s anything to add. The tits pretty much say it all.

Combat Training Tip #47

You’ve got your body armor on and snugged down nice and tight…

You’ve got your helmet seated just right on your noggin…

You’ve got a thick layer of bug spray sportin’…

You’ve got plenty of water, as well as extra ammo…

You’re pretty much all set.

Just remember, when you break ranks and dive for cover on that dirt and gravel berm…

…you’ll wish you’d taken your keys out of your pocket.

Busy, Busy, Headlines

- Like I said, I just got back from vacation. I’m ready for another one. I kinda need one that will last for the next 47.2 years…or so.

- I have 650 hours worth of shit to do and only 624 hours in which to get it done.

- I tried the best beer in the world the other day. Stone Thirteenth Anniversary Ale. I had three glasses and jizzed twice.

- You know when you’re reassembling your M16 and you pinch your finger between the bolt and the bolt carrier and then the cut fills with CLP because that shit just gets everywhere? I hate that.

- Apparently a fake post I did a while back about spying on my neighbor is being mentioned in the same breath as some bitch I don’t know being taped dropping a deuce or some such. I don’t really care, but I am getting some wicked high traffic from some pissed off conservatives.

- You know when you pour a beer too fast and the head threatens to overrun the rim of the glass so you have to suck the foam off the top real fast. Do you spit that mouthful out or just suck it up and swallow?

- My elbows hurt.

- I’m currently reading Moby Dick for the first time. Is it just me or is that Ahab kind of a prick?

- I’m pretty busy for the next few weeks then I’m headed to Afghanistan for awhile so posting might be on the light side, if you know what I mean.

- Peace…but not really.

The Bobman returneth

Good afternoon! faithful followers from the far-off and wild internet-i-scapes and world-wide-webias. Hark! and bringeth forth glad tidings of joy and many beers. I have returned!

I just got back from vacation and boy are my arms tired (snare, snare, cymbal). No, seriously they’re killing me; I think I pulled something.

The family unit and I hiked all over the back woods of New York (the good part of the state, not the part with fucking New Yorkers). Then we lounged the night away by the fire, pounding brewskis and stuffing our greedy pie-holes with all the s’mores we could s’more.

I’d write more, but we’re heading out to Don Pablo’s for tacos y burritos.

I’ll fulfill all your wishes with my taco flavored kisses. Taco, Taco. Burrito, Burrito.

Peace

Steve McNair

I really don’t care about this other than to comment on:

…the ugliness of the entire situation may very well overshadow the greatness he achieved on the field.

Really?…”may very well overshadow…”?

When your stripper mistress shoots you in your head…twice, you are no longer a MVP or a Pro Bowler, you’re a fucking punch line. Like if you compare someone to OJ, it’s probably not because of his running back skills. It’s more likely for his knife handling skills.

pic via Busted Coverage

Asspeartastic Rule 5

I don’t know who this lovely young woman is and frankly I don’t care, but I do appreciate the balance and aesthetics (assthetics) of the photograph.

Just sit back and fully realize the way the under-ass is in perfect equilibrium with the side-boob. This is true artistry on film. *single tear

Biggest Fan

Apparently Pittsburg, CA also has a team called the Steelers.

Happy Fuck You, England Weekend

I know The Fourth is still a few days off, but today is the start of my weekend and I’s gots chillin’ to do later.

I find Independence Day to be one of the few holidays that I can really appreciate. It’s impressive when any group of people tells their leaders that their services are no longer needed. And yea, you can give me that line about the Founding Fathers being a bunch of white slave owners, who didn’t want to pay their taxes, but they pulled it off…didn’t they? I mean…hey, I don’t currently own any slaves, but I’m white and I sure as fuck don’t want to pay my taxes. If I know my history, all I need is a well written Virginian with jungle fever, a nerdy guy who drinks beer and comes up with good quotes and a tall guy with wooden teeth. Next thing you know, we’ll be crammin’ our pie-holes with ambrosia fruit salad on Bobsylvania Day. Hmmmm…ambrosia.

On a lighter, more realistic note…

We are headed to AC this weekend for the Clutch concert at the House of Blues. Then a BBQ at a friend’s on Saturday. Should be nice. We got a room and are just planning on lounging at the beach all day Friday til the concert, then stagger back to the crib after the show.

By the way, sorry for not updating regularly any more. I’ve had what you might call a “change of outlook on life” and it’s taking me in a new direction. I basically took all the nicest, happiest parts from about five different religions and tossed out all the gods, myths, fairy tales, guilt and that “do unto others” crap. What you end up with is pretty fucking sweet. I’ll let you know how it goes, but I gotta say…I’ve never been this at peace in my life.