Taxes Suck

10 things I would rather do instead of my taxes:

1. Piss on an electric fence
2. Stop a fan with my tongue
3. Take a shot in the junk from a bean bag riot gun
4. Go down on Paris Hilton
5. Chug a gallon of butter milk then run 5k
6. Babysit Nadya Suleman’s little bastard kids
7. Read Hamlet
8. Sniff Evgeni Malkin’s jockstrap after practice
9. Bite the head off a live guinea pig
10. Referee a naked bum fight

1 thing I will not do instead of doing my taxes:

1. Pay some other motherfucker to do my taxes