Bad Parents Suck

This morning I had my nice healthy breakfast of oatmeal and banana slices interrupted by this story on GMA.

Apparently some bitch kicked her kids out of the car because they wouldn’t stop fighting and she couldn’t take it. The 12 year old girl ran back to the car and got back in, but her 10 year old sister wandered the streets until some stranger bought her ice cream and took her to the cops.

I have issues with this and parenting in general on so many different levels that I felt compelled to interrupt my own morning, postpone my AntiChrist workout and explain to you all why most parents suck ass.

First of all, I just want to get this out of my system right know so you can go ahead and stop reading.

If you are a stay at home mom and all you do is take care of the kids and the house and you think your job is hard. You suck ass. It’s not that difficult. I don’t know where you’re having a problem personally. Maybe you have too many fucking kids. Maybe your house is to fucking big. Maybe your husband is a deadbeat. I don’t fucking know and I don’t fucking care. Unless you are literally shackled to the fucking stove, held prisoner in some kind of crazy religious cult compound, it’s your own entire fucking fault. Deal with it. Nobody pisses me off more than housewives that bitch. You know I have a house and I have a child and take care of them both, oh and I also occasionally go to war. So shut the fuck up.

Damn, I feel like I just had an orgasm.

Ok husbands, you’re not getting off scot free. If your wife bitches all the time, you’re probably not pulling your weight. Do your fucking job.

Yea, I know that wasn’t even, but I don’t care. I’m going to play the “It’s my fucking blog” card.

I know the mother that booted her kids to the curb wasn’t a stay at home mom, but that doesn’t make any difference. The situation that she and every other bad parent find themselves is ENTIRELY OF THEIR OWN MAKING.

Stop bitching about something that you created.

It’s like those commercials at the end of summer, where the mom is dancing around the store school shopping because she’s so fucking happy that she doesn’t have to spend time with her kids any more.

The Other McCain has been writing lately about Christianity and having big families and all. You know the whole “fruitful and multiply” schtick. And normally I agree with Stacy, but on this issue we are going to have to part ways. In my opinion, most Americans should not only NOT have big families, they shouldn’t have any kids at all. They just can’t handle it.

If your kids are fighting in the back seat to the point that you have to pull the car over and kick them the fuck out, you have already failed as a parent. You just gave the world two more fucking mouth breathers that can’t resolve their conflicts in peaceful manner. Thank you very much.

Single people need to listen up and pay attention. Girls, take note every time your married friend complains about her kids. Guys, pay attention when you’re at the park with your girlfriend and the mother of three is trying to wrangle her two little bastards while the third one in her arms is wailing. That could be you.

If you’re in a stable marriage and have good jobs, by all means have a child and love it with all your heart, every day. But if you have second kid just so the first one will have a playmate (and I heard this from more than one parent), what the fuck are you doing with your time? Pay attention to your damn kid. You play with them. You are a family of equals. The only thing you have on your kids is life experience; there’s probably a better than average chance that your kids are actually smarter than you. Treat them as such.

When an average couple decides to have more and more children, they are making a deliberate choice to give less and less to their kids. Time and money. You can only pay for so much crap and there is only so much time in the day. Years ago when my daughter asked me if she could have a little sister, I told her (and I shit you not) that if she had a sister she would only get half as many toys over the course of her life because her sister would get the other half. There is only so much toy money.

She decided she didn’t need a little sister.

P.S. For those of you that were wondering, I got my test results back and apparently I am not going crazy, but for some reason I have become prone to fairly bad postprandial hypoglycemia. Hmm…who’da thunk it?